A Brief History of Our Unique Kings

Upon our land is a curse that befalls each ruler. At their birth, the king-to-be is struck with a curse: both blindness and illiteracy. Thanks to indisputable technology, we know how to partially break it. By setting a certain stone into the crown of King based on when they are born, they can read with their hands, but.. in a special way!

While we can't say exactly what their special way was, we have been gifted with each King's interpretation of certain texts, or addages passed down! We also know they could not understand any words not conforming to their peculiarities.

King Marcus the Tyrant

When provided with the text "hello, and ƃɹǝǝʇᴉuƃs", the Tyrant only recorded "greetings"

King Jordan the Bold

He claimed that the Roman Empire was so great, that he would only read as Caesar did.

King Igris the Bloodred

Our sources claim he could only read when it was reflected off a pool of his enemies blood."

King Rufus the Famished

When provided with the text "good evening our wonderful and starved King!", the Famished only recorded "evening our and".

King Thorfinn the Reformed

Through repentence, King Thorfinn is the only ruler to overcome the curse.

King Alfred the Butler

A messenger once spilled ink halfway through a letter and improvised to write "war is coming soon sire". Alfred, for the first time, wrote "coming soon".

King Ptolomy the Fat

He once intercepted a message between guards saying "This king is the biggest doof I've ever served." He only exclaimed "FOOD?"

King Leo the Impaler

A descendant of Rufus, he was once provided "good evening our wonderful and impaling King". After impaling the greeter, he wrote "good wonderful King", and smiled.

King Albert the Old

His nephew was teaching him new slang, starting with "schooled". Albert confusedly wrote, "Shoe? Cold?".